My graight agenda

February 15, 2012

It is very rare for me to write about political topics on this blog. I want this blog to be a place where interesting ideas are developed and refined, not a place where positions are staked out and hardened. But some active political issues cut to the core of what this blog is about – fully unleashing the human soul. In that spirit, I am moved to write about gay rights.

In case you don’t know me personally, let me share a few details. I am a middle-aged white straight man. I am gainfully employed. I pay my taxes. I love and support my three children. I tend to vote Republican. You get the picture? I’m pretty much the last person you’d expect to carry the flag for gay rights.

And yet I want to. Why?

Simply put, this might be the last arena (in the U.S.) in which people are actively seeking to crush the human spirit. (Except of course for large corporations which do this constantly but at least do it to all of their employees without discrimination.) Engaging in loving committed relationships full of romantic, emotional, and physical intimacy is a necessary part of a healthy adult life. We cannot lead full lives without the happiness, peace of mind, inspiration and comfort that we can only get from these relationships. In the U.S., we acknowledge and affirm these relationships and we encourage people to form such relationships¬†by bestowing all sorts of benefits and protections on them when they do. But these benefits and protections are not available to you if you’re gay. If you are gay, you are denied the opportunity to fully participate in society. This is an affront to human dignity. And it is an affront to the essence of the United States – a nation conceived in liberty.

It is time we remove this stain on our own dignity – as a nation and as individuals. Towards that end, I will share some thoughts and debunk some myths below:

  • A lot of people spend a lot of time talking about whether people are born gay or choose to be gay. Regrettably, there are gay groups that are going to great lengths to reinforce the claim that gayness is something people are born with. The entire issue is nonsense! It doesn’t matter. That’s not where our rights come from in this country. In fact, isn’t the point of this country to allow us to choose things freely without interference from nosy neighbors or the government? Do you remember that charming little essay called the Declaration of Independence? “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Now clearly our founding fathers did not believe that every newborn was literally the same as every other. The naked eye can see that this is not true. What they must have meant is that insofar as our government is concerned, whatever samenesses or differences people may have at birth are irrelevant. We take as axiomatic the idea that all people have the same unalienable rights. And yes, that includes the right to choose. Nobody is born wanting to eat a hamburger. Nobody is born wanting to be a Christian minister. Nobody is born wanting to ride a roller coaster. Nobody is born wanting to read, or drive, or hike… We choose to do these things. And the beauty of this country is that we get to choose these things. Rights come from human dignity and they are unalienable because human dignity is unalienable. So let’s drop all the nonsense about whether gay people chose to be gay. It doesn’t matter. They have every right to make that choice for any reason or no reason at all.
  • Gay people don’t have a “gay agenda” anymore than you have a “straight agenda.” They want what you want – a decent job, a loving family, peace, prosperity… Now sure, they’ll probably look better than you while enjoying all of those things but that’s really your fault, not theirs. There is no “gay agenda” other than securing the liberties that you and I get to take for granted. But that’s not a gay agenda. It’s a human agenda. And it is an American agenda. So why isn’t it your agenda too?
  • Gay people are not trying to make you gay. I know this because I’ve applied several times and keep getting rejected (except for that flight attendant on India Airlines but that’s a story for another time).¬†There is no recruiting bonus or commission for gayhood. Gay people don’t get a set of steak knives or a toaster every time they convert someone. They really don’t care if you’re gay or not. They are not sitting around thinking about you all day long. They’re busy trying to live their life.
  • Gay people are not after your children. See the point above about no recruiting bonuses. And while we’re on this topic, other than you and your loved ones, nobody really cares about your children. Nobody finds them as cute and adorable as you do. So please – when you’re out in public make the little bastards behave. But back to the gays. Again, they are not interested in whether your kids grow up to be gay. It is totally irrelevant to them. And honestly, just stop and think about this for a minute. Do you really think reading some book in school, seeing some TV show or movie, allowing gays to get legally married…is going to make your child want to be gay? If you’re a straight guy, does watching an episode of Will & Grace make you want to stick your tongue down another guy’s throat? The whole idea is preposterous! Even if people choose to be gay, they’re choosing it because it appeals to them, because they want to be gay. Not because someone else made it seem cool.
  • Civil unions are not an acceptable solution. Here’s the deal: It is not your right to decide how gay people get to live. Rights are not yours to bestow. Remember: unalienable.
  • Gay marriage is not going to destroy or even dilute the institution of marriage. First of all, their relationships are just as good and healthy and wholesome and loving and committed as heterosexual relationships. If you don’t believe that, then try one. And if you’re not willing to do that then the only intelligent thing you can do is to take the word of people who have. Second, the institution of marriage is already so badly fucked up that it’s hard to believe the gays could make it worse. And who fucked up marriage? You got it! Straight people. I myself am divorced. The exact reasons behind my divorce are none of your business but the general cause was that neither of us behaved the way we should have. No gay person played any role in my wife and I destroying our marriage. If you are married, do you think your marriage would fall apart because two guys in Omaha decide to tie the knot? Of course not. The very idea is silly.
  • If you’re straight, it’s very hard to wrap your head around gayness. As you can tell, I am very supportive of gay rights and I want to help every gay person live a more complete life full of human dignity (except that flight attendant…) But even I cannot wrap my head around gayness. I’m perplexed by it. Do they have “male” and “female” roles? Does one of them “wear the pants” in the family? I just don’t get it. And then….there’s the sex. Yeah, I’ll say it. When I think about it, it grosses me out. But here’s the important point. It doesn’t matter if I can wrap my head around it. And it doesn’t matter if the thought of gay sex attracts or repels me. My opinion or inclination or predisposition or proclivity doesn’t matter. Neither does yours. What matters is that these are people. They have human dignity. They have unalienable rights – even if you are grossed out or confused by how they live their lives. By the way, I am also grossed out by olives. I find them hideously disgusting and I truly don’t know how anyone could ever put one in their mouth. Should we have a discussion on whether to legalize olives? Or, should we respect and champion the concept of human dignity and the ethos upon which this country was built, and let people live their lives the way they want to?

There is so much more to say. But for now, let me simply announce my agenda. It is not a straight agenda. It is not a gay agenda. It is a human agenda. Call it my graight agenda – to fully embrace and honor the dignity, nobility, and beauty of the human soul and to encourage its fullest expression. Except for evil people.

My name is Adam Schorr and I approved this message.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Panina February 15, 2012 at 8:04 PM

What a graight post! (I’ll talk to the gays and see if we can get you toaster anyway.)


Adam February 15, 2012 at 9:21 PM

Instead of a toaster, I’d like a makeover!


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