Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s easy to get so comfortable with those closest to you that you relax your civil posture and let more of your dark side out. On one hand this is good. Don’t we all want to be able to fart in the presence of our loved ones? [OK, that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to use the word “fart.”] Must we always use the emotional equivalent of our finest china and Sunday best when we’re with loved ones? I think not. On the other hand, when you fall into a pattern where those closest to you are treated to a regular dose of your worst behavior, you are not likely to have them in your life for long.
I’d like to propose a simple method for helping us all behave just a bit nicer to people. And this isn’t just for loved ones. Even those you work with on a regular basis.
Here’s the method: pretend they’re dead. Now how do you feel? Happy? OK. You might as well cut them out of your life now. But if you miss them terribly and feel like a miserable jerk for the way you treated them when they “were” alive, then change your behavior. Don’t wait until someone is dead or just dead to you, to realize how wonderful they are and how valuable your relationship is. Think about it now while you can still do something about it. The eulogy is no good to them when they’re dead. Don’t just bring flowers to their grave – flowers are good every day. Save your kindest behavior for them now. They will appreciate it and you will have richer more rewarding relationships.
